How to tell the weather?

To Tell the weather, Go to your back door and look for the dog.

• If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining.
• But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
• If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
• If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.

Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.


Sincerely,
The CAT

The Dog's Diary VS The Cat's Diary

As seen in a dog's diary:

8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my
attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were
walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs. In
an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on
their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was
some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary
throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the
food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY
power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got
to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room,
his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time..

 

[ back to the Cat page ]
[ back to the Dog page ]
[ Home ]