What You Can Learn From Your Cat

Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do in spite of yourselves."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG".

And dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will se them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

A Cat Story

A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening.
They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone
line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They
phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi.The taxi arrived and
the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had
put out into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't want the
cat shut in the house because "she" always tries to eat the bird.

The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the
cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. The wife doesn't
want the driver to know the house will be empty. She explains to the taxi
driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to
say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into
the cab. Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid
bitch was hiding under the bed. had to poke her with a coat hanger to
get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her
from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and
threw her out into the back yard!"

The cabdriver hit a parked car...